It's been a long, Pardo-free month, and I hope you're all doing well. Me? I'm wandering the earth as a god-forsaken spectre while that chubby boy with the Clinton impressions does a pale imitation of my golden voice, which honeyed American airwaves for over 70 years. As much as I'd like to head off to my great reward, one major issue stands between me and making love on a cloud with Greta Garbo for eternity: no one seems to think I'm dead.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
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It's the middle of the night and you need ten bullets removed. Who can you trust?