Instead of complaining about the cold, ask yourself where Spring has been all this time.
H.P. Lovecraft is subjected to all six Star Wars movies and tries to put into words the horrors he witnessed.
"Hi there, folks. Rick Deckard here. I am a Blade Runner. You know, sometimes I get to thinking and I wonder if maybe I myself am an android. Weird, right? Wouldn't that be something?"
The Jerk Store called and just read off a list of jokes without pausing for me to say anything.
The walls of my dorm are covered with supermodel posters. Today I tore one down looking for an electrical outlet and saw the words "HELP ME" written repeatedly on the wall in a mix of blood and hair gel, but then the poster re-affixed itself to the wall like a rapidly healing wound.
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
Watch out, terrorists. There's an old man who used to be really respected here to shoot you.