Cosplay Beautiful Breast Idol -- Nao Oikawa Part Two

Space is so fun and colorful. Why it's so futuristic here I would almost think I have a fake penis attached to bike shorts underneath my dumbass uniform.Scene Three - "All Aboard the SS Prosthetic Boygirl"

Picture the scene; the most sparsely decorated and boring corner of a giant intergalactic spaceship. A girl that looks exactly like I always imagined Link from "The Legend of Zelda" would look is busy turning dials on a futuristic space box. An officer in the space navy enters and they exchange salutes, but there's something more here. A deep longing and repressed desire that would only ever manifest itself in the most sparsely decorated and boring corner of a giant intergalactic spaceship. This is the setting of what I am told is a Gundam-themed cosplay episode.

After saluting the boygirl that looks like Link returns to her post turning dials while Nao, as the space navy officer, sits down on a step ladder to stare meaningfully at her very own Legend of Zelda. For well over a minute the camera cuts between the two of them in one of the most exasperatingly paced flirtation sequences in any pornographic movie yet devised by Hephaestus. Once the pair have reached the conclusion that they are hot to trot, they sit on a hospital bed together and take a Polaroid to remember the moment just before the music died. More awkward foreign flirtation takes place and then the sloppy blind kissing begins. You may remember this sloppy kissing from every scene of this movie reviewed so far and here it really serves as an ill omen of every scene of this movie yet to be reviewed. Space girls and boygirls, yeah, we do not need a detailed examination of the exact number of cavities and fillings each of you has, thanks though.

A picture is worth the word "NO!" repeated a thousand times.The kissing sequence in this scene goes on so long that I actually got up and made lunch, came back, and they were still fully clothed and making out. After almost twenty minutes of this some pants finally come off. Unfortunately, it's the boygirl's pants, and much to the mutual horror of Nao Oikawa and the audience the boygirl is wearing some sort of disturbing fusion of biker shorts and fake penis. After overcoming her initial terror, Nao plays grabdick with boygirl and her amazing prosthetic penis, but boygirl puts up a wincing and flailing battle to keep Nao's hands off the sensitive lump of plastic.

Now here's some food for thought. Once the plastic phallus is unveiled for a waiting America, Nao gives it the old hoof and mouth treatment and because it's a synthetic schlong it doesn't get the mosaic privacy screen. A scientifically demonstrable 95% of all activity in this DVD that has been hidden by the mosaic was better left hidden by the mosaic. The question now is, would it have been better to graft an actual penis onto the girl so that there was a mosaic? They wouldn't even have to do that, they could have just taped a photograph of a vagina to her swanky white biker shorts and that would have been enough to conjure the winsome spirits of the mosaic. That way we would have never had to endure many minutes of clumsy plastic handjobs and could have imagined something exciting happening beneath the mosaic like a baseball triple play.

I can't believe it's not butter. Spray!Ironically the first one to take off her top is boygirl with a cup size so small that it probably falls into whatever comes before the alphabet, like pound signs or hearts. I do not feel ashamed at all saying that I have bigger breasts than this girl. Eventually Nao gets tired of licking boygirl's concave chest and cruises back over to the step ladder to show off her crotch mosaic and squeeze her breasts. Up to this point this is the closest to erotic anything has gotten in the scene. Since it almost works as pornography they naturally switch shots immediately to some mosaic nuzzling fun courtesy of the recently re-shirted boygirl.

Even this is brief as boygirl just can't wait to bury his/her dummy dong in the waiting pixilation of officer Nao of the space police. Like some sort of elf on amyl nitrate the boygirl humps away at a crying red-faced Nao. Thanks to amazing Japanese super science the fake penis manages to not only rail a huge patch of pixels for this time but at the requisite moment it ejaculates! Peeking coyly out of the edge of the mosaic like a plastic dragon that breathes corn starch, the glistening artificial throbby disgorges its fake genetic code all over Nao's stomach. Boygirl collapses on top of Nao - right on top of a huge pool of his own fake jizz, something a real man would never do - and they share a loving embrace at a job well done. That job? Horrifying foreigners and keeping them from ever visiting Japan.

The Horror: When I sit down with my brandy snifter full of cognac, a dozing mastiff at my feet, a crackling fire in the hearth, and a good pornographic movie in the DVD player, what I really demand as a connoisseur of all things reasonably fine is more androgynous space crewmen with ejaculating plastic cocks. Sure a rubber or mink skin cock here and there is fine, but I want to be absolutely mystified as to whether or not the actor is male or female and that fake dick had better be unloading like a cake decorating tube. In fact just paint a cake decorating tube pink and somehow attach it to bike shorts. Even better, go ahead and replace the obviously female actress with a large cake.