You know, I always wanted to be famous, but I never thought it would happen. All that changed on Christmas, when a three-inch hair grew on my back. A true holiday miracle. Now the Christmas Hair and I are destined to be entombed in the Guinness Book of World Records.
I’ve spent the last three months in Rome doing as the Romans—mostly crashing scooters and wearing tight pants, but now it’s over, and I have no idea how to spend my time back home. To help myself, I’ve compiled a list of my old favorite winter activities.
I’m getting old. With a quarter of my life passed, I can look at all the disappoint that will fill my future. To make it worse, I found a list of goals I wrote years ago. Now I’m forced to blend my childish dreams with the dreamless present world. Who knows if I’ll ever be the hero I once imagined.
For centuries, scientists, kings, and members of the band Wyld Stallyns have tried to discover the secrets of time travel. Daylight savings allows us to relive an hour of our life once every autumn. Unfortunately, daylight savings time occurs around two in the morning, but what if we could choose which hours in our life to relive?
Embarrassing one’s self sucks, especially when surrounded by Europeans. The only way to secure your pride is by being well read. Instead of spending hours reading delicate, well written travel books filled with beautiful pictures, read my two-page summary and enjoy the world through my eyes.