Recently, Cleatus, the mascot for Sunday football on Fox, and Monday Night Football legend Hank Williams Jr. sat down with me for a nice conversation. I wanted to have a discussion with national public figures on the upcoming election. This is as good as it got.
Andy Frankle was treated like an outcast. He had to hide within the bowels of his home to be open about his love of the game Spore. While alone, Andy faces numerous obstacles that no person should be forced to endure. And yet, he continued on. Now, his diaries provide an inside look at the boy-man’s emotional journey.
Wolf here. And I got more questions that I’ve stripped down, tied up, and left in my attic for a few weeks until they escape and contact local authorities while I’m at Giant Eagle buying egg salad. Kidding, I would never do that. There is no way anything is escaping from my attic, that shit is locked up tight.
He’s a self-proclaimed expert. He always talks about the time he saw two topless chicks in one day. Spent a month in Thailand and the Feds are after him. Now he wants to help you with the ladies. He said he was going to “punch me till I die,” if I didn’t let him write an update. So enjoy and don’t look at Wolf in the eyes.
It’s vacation time all around this continent and you’re feeling great. You’re out of school and Grandma’s social security check just arrived in the mail. Let’s go on a road trip to an amusement park! Hopefully you can make the right decisions to get there.
It’s finals week for a lot of schools out there. Millions of people are reviewing their notes in an attempt to finish the year with good grades. Instead of studying, I decided to play a lot of FreeCell followed by a nightcap endurance run of Mario Kart Wii. Through the miracles of modern science, you can read my thoughts as I tried to take an exam.
Listen toots, this update is for men, and only the manliest of men for that matter. No gun collection or republican vote is going to fool me! Well, all right, this update is for men who are struggling to grow an awesome beard. I’ve formulaically created a list of the top facial hairstyles chosen by the beard-ly handicapped.
So today is Passover, one of the most important holidays in Judaism. It is also 420, a holiday created for the purpose of smoking pot, like Earth Day without the ambition. I guess there's a big party going on downtown tonight. They are handing out these fliers everywhere.
Congratulations, you got a high school education. Unfortunately, in our society, those twelve years of your life mean shit. If you want to go to college, and I’m sure you do, then here are the first six obstacles in your way before you can spend the big bucks to live in a shitty dorm room and skip class to play Madden.
Cleatus, the FOX NFL mascot known for his no-bullshit exercises, only wanted equal opportunity. When FOX fired him instead, he contacted a longtime friend and world-famous football entertainer for help. This collection of primary sources shows the downward spiral of these two iconic images of football. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME UPDATE!?
Now that the government is giving us all free money, we need a site that let’s strangers tell each other worthless opinions on products. That’s LoyalTV.com. How does an almost nude woman feel about toothpaste? What is great about an Anime Club? Why do people like Arizona Ice Tea? All questions are answered on LoyalTV (and this update.)
People will do anything to be cool, even if it is a bloated nonsensical mutation of its original meaning. Remember the violence surrounding Starter Jackets? Well, atheism is the Starter Jacket of the Internet. Innocent people are getting attacked everywhere because of this new trend, but with a lot less crack cocaine.