This is a not safe for work website. I am not lying to you. If want to click this link at work, and it is possible that you could lose your job for viewing inappropriate material at work, then don't click this link. In fact, if you have a job where they encourage you to click links of the not-work-safe variety, you especially shouldn't click this link. Don't encourage your employers because this is grossly inappropriate & obscene. Don't send this link to your family members. Even the ones you hate. Especially the ones you hate. Don't burn what's left of the bridge you still share, because family is important. What's under this link is not important.
Normally, if I don't include some sort of picture, you guys won't click on the link. Great, because I don't want you to click this link. Although I do despise most of you, especially because you use the internet, I don't want you to put this URL in your address bar. Not even in jest. Many of our readers I understand are under the age of 18 - this website is totally not sacrosanct. I know this because there is absolutely no reason for any one of any age to even gently browse the page. Go ahead and click the back button on your browser. There's nothing for you here.
I can't stress this enough: do not click on this link. See, I intentionally made that text a fake link in order to upset you to the point of not clicking on the real link. Close your internet browser, stop whatever you were doing, and hug your kids. If you don't have kids, then go and have some kids, and in 9 months be prepared to hug them. Do not show your kids this website. If you are religious, you probably know that God in some form or other is watching us do everything. Do not let God see this website. God had absolutely nothing to do with this website. You will have to take my word on it.
The only reason I'm even linking to today's ALOD is because I'm short on time and ideas. However, over the past month I think that we've (you, the readership and I) have established a sacred trust that allows me to dictate what should, and should not be clicked. Let me tell you now that you can click on any other link you want to, from this day forth. However, and I repeat myself because it is incredibly important, DO NOT VIEW TODAYS AWFUL LINK OF THE DAY.
Even if you are blind, your Braille monitor should have caught the big bold underlined red font. Even blind people shouldn't check out how horrible it is. It's not work safe, mind safe, and ironically safe. Please, do not click here. Oh, and whatever you do, make sure that flash ISN'T installed on your machine, and that your speakers are all the way up.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.