The Hawaiichair is a lapdance/hula hoop simulator, that uses patented "We Strapped a Loud Boat Motor to the Bottom of an Office Chair" technology to help you think you're losing weight, fast. Unlike every other scam exercise machine that advertises you don't actually have to work out, this one had the audacity of saying you can just use the device anywhere. Using a Hawaiichair in front of your family isn't embarassing enough - they ask for you to use it at work, at meetings, and Nascar venues.
The human testimonials on the infomercial are done by fat people and victims of car crash . The fat people aren't any less fat, but they do claim it stops all chronic pain. They also claim Hawaiichair will cure diabetes, couch potatoes, and being old.
For the full Hawaiichair experience, be sure to pick up the Hawaiichannel, read the Hawaiibook, and have your family laugh at your lack of shame.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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