Area 51 - Funny Things To Do - Here are some "funny" things to do in various situations, all of which would be right at home in one of XOZero's Anarchist Guidebooks. I've chosen to highlight a few items from the Things to do in the bathroom stall section to tie today's Awful Link into my main update, which should net me quadruple points and finally put me past "that girl who put a Rez vibrating controller in her panties" on the list of the internet's greatest writers.
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the Stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please eh?
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
There are also suggestions for what to do on the beach, at a tennis match, and at a "bolwing" alley:
ok so what you do is you and somebody else bowl on the same lane at the same time, but delay one of the balls about 3 seconds, then when the bar goes down and the second ball bounces off of it, you walk onto the lane and go all the way up there and get it, they will get EXTREMELY MAD at you!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.