David Marks: Personal Bodyguard, submitted by Robert. David Marks is a war hero, a bodyguard, a model, and no doubt a beloved grandfather. In fact he is some sort of crazy posterchild for active senior living, he loves bicycling almost as much as he loves jumping over the hood of a car and leveling a gun on you while shouting "don't move, scumbag!"
He has worked for major celebrities and has earned the accolades of a number of organizations, just take a look!
- Recognition of Past Achievements and Outstanding Service, Editorial Board of the American Biographical Institute, September 1985
- Personal Protection and Investigation Award, Biographical Role of Honor, August 1985
- McDonalds All American Team, McDonalds, June 1985
- Outstanding Service Award, McDonalds, June 1985
- Employee of the Month, McDonalds, May 1985
- Employee of the Month, McDonalds, April 1985
- Certificate of Appreciation, American Police Hall of Fame, February 1985
HE FOUND THE HAMBURGER! IT WAS HIDING IN THE KITCHEN UNDERNEATH THE SPECIAL SAUCE, AND HE FRIED IT TOO!
CONGRATULATIONS MR. MARKS ON ANOTHER JOB WELL DONE!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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