ChampbrOH's Homepage, submitted by Mr. Internet. Hey kid's, it's time to shine the light on yet another wonderful subculture that spawned out of the limitless spectrum of the human condition. Why yes, I'm talking about those old grizzly bears. You can't go wrong with hairy men who are mildly to terminally obese, but you also can't go anywhere close to right. In fact you can't really go anywhere, but hey, that just makes for a shorter trip.
I think of myself as a simple guy, but apparently I'm the only one who does.
Oooohhhh! He's complicated! Did you hear that girls? I hope not, because he's not for you! In reality, he's not so complicated. I think this explains most everything:
1. NO I DON'T HAVE ANY NEKKID PICS.
2. YES I DO SMILE BUT NOT ON COMMAND. (Think of another way to start a conversation or just go back to drinking your gin & Tab.)
3. I'M VERY FLATTERED YOU HAVE PROJECTED YOUR PERSONAL FANTASY ONTO MY PIC, BUT PLEASE DON'T EXPECT ME TO LIVE UP TO IT.
4. YEP, I'M A BIG GUY WITH A BIG SPIRIT AND A BIG HEART -- PLEASE DON'T ASK HOW BIG ANYTHING ELSE IS.
5. SAVE US BOTH A LOT OF TROUBLE -- DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE NO "PRETTY BOY" -- WE'LL BOTH BE DISAPPOINTED CAUSE I AM NEITHER
6. "I'M NOT BAD, I'M JUST DRAWN THAT WAY." Jessica Rabbit
Fuck! According to number 3, I just projected my fantasies onto his picture without even realizing it! Damnit, now the internet has robbed me of my flaming heterosexuality.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.