ChampbrOH's Homepage, submitted by Mr. Internet. Hey kid's, it's time to shine the light on yet another wonderful subculture that spawned out of the limitless spectrum of the human condition. Why yes, I'm talking about those old grizzly bears. You can't go wrong with hairy men who are mildly to terminally obese, but you also can't go anywhere close to right. In fact you can't really go anywhere, but hey, that just makes for a shorter trip.

I think of myself as a simple guy, but apparently I'm the only one who does.

Oooohhhh! He's complicated! Did you hear that girls? I hope not, because he's not for you! In reality, he's not so complicated. I think this explains most everything:

1. NO I DON'T HAVE ANY NEKKID PICS.
2. YES I DO SMILE BUT NOT ON COMMAND. (Think of another way to start a conversation or just go back to drinking your gin & Tab.)
3. I'M VERY FLATTERED YOU HAVE PROJECTED YOUR PERSONAL FANTASY ONTO MY PIC, BUT PLEASE DON'T EXPECT ME TO LIVE UP TO IT.
4. YEP, I'M A BIG GUY WITH A BIG SPIRIT AND A BIG HEART -- PLEASE DON'T ASK HOW BIG ANYTHING ELSE IS.
5. SAVE US BOTH A LOT OF TROUBLE -- DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE NO "PRETTY BOY" -- WE'LL BOTH BE DISAPPOINTED CAUSE I AM NEITHER
6. "I'M NOT BAD, I'M JUST DRAWN THAT WAY." Jessica Rabbit

Fuck! According to number 3, I just projected my fantasies onto his picture without even realizing it! Damnit, now the internet has robbed me of my flaming heterosexuality.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.