STAR AMATEUR, submitted by Paul. I'll be the first person to admit there are tons of things on the Internet that separate us from each other and break our culture apart. For example, there's homosexual furries. However, the one common things which we can all unite behind is the fact that we are all failed Star Trek episode writers. This is clearly a great injustice propagated onto us by the harsh, cruel world of dead old Gene Roddenberry and his crack team of henchmen lawyers. In fact, I might even go as far as to suggest there is a conspiracy against all of us by "the man," the faceless corporate Star Trek entity who wants to see nothing but us write failed Star Trek scripts until the day we become as dead as ol' Gene himself. You know, because that's what we all like doing in our spare time.

From this haven goes an outcry, a protest against the unfair treatment cast upon Star Trek writers who worked so hard to bring talented work into the world and yet ended up being turned down. Hello, I'm a Star Trek spec script writer. My name is Duane Birth. I submitted two scripts to the Star Trek writing department. One about three months ago, and the other just a month ago, one week before the deadline. I have not heard anything at all back as yet, but since the chances of being accepted are so small, I anticipate that I will be dissappointed just like many others have.

Our Common Shadow: Disappointment

We have all suffered the cold clutches of dissappointment, but there seems to be nothing we can do about it. The big companys and established mega-promoters have shut us out without a care or a concern for our feelings or our chances of ever achieving anything great in this world.

So let me get this straight; the sole purpose of this site is to group together people who spend all their time writing Star Trek scripts and then being turned down by a company who doesn't want to see their franchise ruined by people who masturbate inside Ferengi costumes?

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! If you're tired of getting ripped off by Star Trek employees, you can now get ripped off by people who got ripped off by Star Trek employees! The webmaster of this wonderful site would really like you to join his "SKY BIZ 2000" service which is NOT AT ALL a pyramid scheme and ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE a program where you give people your money and then you get nothing in return! Oh no, this is something completely different!

However, the way the SKY BIZ plan is structured, with no inventory, no bookwork, no meetings, and no huge investment, the only rational answer to that common question would be MINIMAL EFFORT.

Each person is required to tell two friends about the program and get someone on their left and on their right and that is all. That's the only requirement, but like anything else, the more people you tell, and the more you bring into the program the faster it will take off!

Set phazers to "scam artist / hack writer," captain! Oh wait, that's the setting to kill L. Ron Hubbard. My mistake.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.