Bible Sex Facts Home Page, submitted by phenyl. Sex and the Bible go together about as well as honey poured onto your face from the ceiling by Dr. Phibes and a horde of flesh-eating locusts, also courtesy of Dr. Phibes. I think what I'm trying to say is that the Abomitable Dr. Phibes hates the people. Despite this undeniable fact, someone has created a web site/book about sex and the bible. The first part isn't very interesting and seemingly has nothing to do with the Bible, it's just groundbreaking information like "don't let people molest your children" and "don't give your kid a Hustler as sex ed". The second part is where things start to get bizzay.
Dick and Jane now look forward to playing with dynamite on their dates. And each time, they re-light the fuse right where they snuffed it out the last time. At the end of each date, they notice the fuse is getting shorter and shorter but each is afraid to suggest that they stop playing with dynamite.
One night, they become so engrossed with passing the dynamite back and forth that both forget to check the unburned part of the fuse. Suddenly BLAM! there is an explosion and nothing is completely the same for either one again.
That's right, the Bible warns against playing with dynamite! Among some other hot topics for discussion in the Bible are the facts that both masturbation and homosexuality are evil, and that birth control pills are chemical abortions! Wow, thanks Bible, you sure help a lot!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
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