Bryan Chung's Personal Homepage, submitted by Mudoubleha.I would like to think that I'm a pretty tolerant person when it comes to religion, sassy Japanese, and Chinchilla memorials, but this site made me so disgusted that I vomited in my good derby and then devoured it and vomited it again. Upon entering the site, you are greeted with quality midi rendition of "Praise & Worship". This is just getting you in the mood to read the testimonials. It's truly a enlightening read.

"While "Jie Jibe" Cheryl and I were at East Coast Park playing water at the beach. While she was SM Sing someone, she was caught unaware by a wave. Water entered her hand-phone and hence it was somewhat spoilt. She was not able to access the "Menu" option. Bad gone to worst when the hand-phone rejected her ism-card. From then on, she had a mood swing. She even bought a McDonald's meal and did not want to eat. I tried my very best to help her with her phone. My last resort was to pray. I continued to pray more than once and never gave up trying to make her hand-phone back to normal. God answered my prayers soon. I felt so happy when her hand-phone was back to normal. The ism-card was detected and "Menu" option was accessible. The sense of relieved went through Cheryl and I felt happy for her. I told her it was not me, it was God helped her. Thank you God."

It's a miracle! Her phone wasn't working so she was sad and didn't want to eat McNuggets but then God turned the phone on because he wants you to eat fast food to plump you up for heaven. Now take a walk over to the diary section. Every single second of Bryan Chung's praised life for the past two years are recorded in these archives. Lets take a little peek at March 6th, 2002, 2:45 PM.

After not going to class for almost a week, I woke up just before 8:00am for a morning class. I took a shower after I got off bed. Since I never cut my hair yesterday, I tried gelling my hair into center parting. Haha, I look so funny. Other people center parting is so long but mine is so short. Whatever the case, after I was done with my hair, I left for class. I had lesson from 9:00am to 12:00pm. During the break time, I went to Funan McDonald's and bought myself a 'Sausage McMuffin with Egg' meal. I ordered an additional piece of hash brown. Goodness, my breakfast cost me more than S$6.00.

AGAIN WITH THE MCDONALD'S! The good news is that this clown got drafted a few days ago into the Singapore National Army to take part in some kind of Operation Dumbo Drop. As long as he will be stuck in the Army getting beaten with bars of soap in pillowcases, the Internet is safe. Let's pray there's some kind of war.

Don't forget to sign the guestbook! But whatever you do, don't mention Mao Mao.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.