Alien Dave, submitted by Internet Machine. HUT HUT HUT YOUR PAL #86 IS UP TO HIS SHOULDERS IN A MESS OF CRAZINESS HERE! Alien Dave is a real commie-type, spreading rumors about horrible death and destruction! Do not fear friends, #86 is on the case and no aliens or nazis will ever run amok on the United States of A (that's America! HUT HUT HUT HUT HIKE!)! Alien Dave's web playbook is like a parade only instead of nice floats celebrating America and her majestic bosoms of natural beauty the floats are full of hippies! The same commie hippies that chickened out of Vietnam and now run their goateed mouths off about the invisible boogiemen that cause terrible weather in their pants! I'm not one to editorialize, friends, but I think the aliens and UFOs that haunt these crazy kooks are no more than regrets! HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT DODGE THE DRAFT FEEL THE WRATH! HUT HUT HUT HUT HIKE! You see, when somebody doesn't do his best to serve this great land that God himself personally built for us, he ends up being haunted by demons! It's true, and I speak from personal experience. That's how #86 feels now for taking so much time away from football to pursue squandering income! Don't you worry everybody! This crazy end time may come to other countries like Russia or Cuba, but not for America! We all have plenty of time to play football and watch me play football! And speaking of me, why not stop by Marty's Sports World for all the sporting equipment you need. If you come by Friday, your good buddy and humble writer will be there to sign your footballs and pose for your memorable pictures. WORKING 120% COME APOCALYPSE OR SHINE!
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.