Kids in Combat, submitted by INTERNET!. Kids in Combat? Say what? In an effort to get the kids to be good Christians while they're young and before they turn into slobbering, cynical bastards such as myself, there are sad and pathetic sites like this. After first shocking you by announcing an "R" rating, this site throws a curveball into your esophagus by revealing that the "R" stands for no les than "RADICAL!!!!!"
RADICAL is being extreme, going beyond the normal. It's being different from ordinary people. Jesus was a RADICAL , the Apostle Paul was a RADICAL. Most of the true followers of Jesus have been RADICALS. Today God is calling Kids to be RADICAL!
What happens when kids get RADICAL ?
They stop being ordinary and doing ordinary things and become extra-ordinary and start doing extra-ordinary things. They go from being bored in church to becoming excited, as God starts to move on them and use them. What age to you have to be to be RADICAL ? Usually from around six or seven and up. But some have even been as young as three! Nothing is too hard for God ! He wants to use kids for his Kingdom.
That might sound like it's a lot of gun and games, but no, it's serious business.
A special message from David Walters
Some people think that if kids die when they are young, they will go to heaven. They believe this, because they think kids are innocent, but they are wrong. We know that God loves kids, (the first thing He told Adam and Eve to do was to have kids.) God wanted kids to be like Him, but Adam and Eve, our great, great, great, great, etc. etc. grandparents messed up and so a lot of kids have turned up behaving more like the devil, than God.
So Listen Kids
You don't go to heaven because your cute. You don't go to heaven because your a kid. You only go to heaven if you have had you're sins washed in the blood of Jesus and you have made Him your Lord and Savior.
So yes, children, though you may not be able to fully comprehend right and wrong, you're still held to the same standards. Don't go to Hell you stupid brats. Hell is not radical, even if it's full of skeletons, fire, explosions, demons, no curfews, swearing, robots, and the ghost of Robocop. This site is radical. Did I mention radical? Well it's radical. It might not seem radical written in size ten Arial, but it is definitely radical written in large, colorful Comic Sans! RADICAL! All this radicalness leaves me wondering, is trying to blind kids visually really the right answer?
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
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