Thorax Cake, submitted by Dea. I firmly believe that there are some things that, although they may be excellent separately, should never be combined. For instance, pineapple and green peppers on pizza. Or church and state. Or, in this case, delicious, delicious cake and the human thoracic cavity. And yet, one woman with what can only be described as a metric shitload of time on her hands has desecrated the holy temple of cake by creating one of the most nauseating culinary projects outside of a Denny's.
The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into.
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly
While I cannot fault Barbara Jo, the woman behind this cakular atrocity, for poor website design or overwhelming insanity, like we usually like to do for our Awful Links, there are some things in life that are just not right. This cake freaks me out. The fact that there are three pages of text devoted to its creation freaks me out. The fact that anyone would actually take the time, patience, and ingredients to create something like this freaks me out. I do not like thoracic cavity cake. I do not like it Sam I Am.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
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