DURANGO DRIVE NEWS (RITUNS FROM AN OLD BEAR), submitted by Me. I don't care if "Old Bear" is really a bear or some 86 year old typing-class dropout, he can go right to hell just the same. That's right, if you've ever wanted to watch your own grandpa pretend to be a stuffed animal, be sure to check out every "RITUN" for nuggets such as:
Of course I wus borned. But I don't know jist where or wen. My man sez since I am almost as old as he is I must have been borned about the same tyme he wus and that wus back in a year kalled nyneteen and twenty-ate. My man was borned in a hospitul in Camelzoo, a town in Michygan so I guess that wus ware I wus borned 2. I don't no nuthin about my fambly cept I think maybe my antsesturs were named Knickerbocker.
I have no idea what the hell I just copied and pasted there, but I do know this: Old Bear might as well start crying about Alzheimer's right now.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.