DURANGO DRIVE NEWS (RITUNS FROM AN OLD BEAR), submitted by Me. I don't care if "Old Bear" is really a bear or some 86 year old typing-class dropout, he can go right to hell just the same. That's right, if you've ever wanted to watch your own grandpa pretend to be a stuffed animal, be sure to check out every "RITUN" for nuggets such as:
Of course I wus borned. But I don't know jist where or wen. My man sez since I am almost as old as he is I must have been borned about the same tyme he wus and that wus back in a year kalled nyneteen and twenty-ate. My man was borned in a hospitul in Camelzoo, a town in Michygan so I guess that wus ware I wus borned 2. I don't no nuthin about my fambly cept I think maybe my antsesturs were named Knickerbocker.
I have no idea what the hell I just copied and pasted there, but I do know this: Old Bear might as well start crying about Alzheimer's right now.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.