DURANGO DRIVE NEWS (RITUNS FROM AN OLD BEAR), submitted by Me. I don't care if "Old Bear" is really a bear or some 86 year old typing-class dropout, he can go right to hell just the same. That's right, if you've ever wanted to watch your own grandpa pretend to be a stuffed animal, be sure to check out every "RITUN" for nuggets such as:

Of course I wus borned. But I don't know jist where or wen. My man sez since I am almost as old as he is I must have been borned about the same tyme he wus and that wus back in a year kalled nyneteen and twenty-ate. My man was borned in a hospitul in Camelzoo, a town in Michygan so I guess that wus ware I wus borned 2. I don't no nuthin about my fambly cept I think maybe my antsesturs were named Knickerbocker.

I have no idea what the hell I just copied and pasted there, but I do know this: Old Bear might as well start crying about Alzheimer's right now.

– Rocco "Rocco" Botte

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful