DURANGO DRIVE NEWS (RITUNS FROM AN OLD BEAR), submitted by Me. I don't care if "Old Bear" is really a bear or some 86 year old typing-class dropout, he can go right to hell just the same. That's right, if you've ever wanted to watch your own grandpa pretend to be a stuffed animal, be sure to check out every "RITUN" for nuggets such as:
Of course I wus borned. But I don't know jist where or wen. My man sez since I am almost as old as he is I must have been borned about the same tyme he wus and that wus back in a year kalled nyneteen and twenty-ate. My man was borned in a hospitul in Camelzoo, a town in Michygan so I guess that wus ware I wus borned 2. I don't no nuthin about my fambly cept I think maybe my antsesturs were named Knickerbocker.
I have no idea what the hell I just copied and pasted there, but I do know this: Old Bear might as well start crying about Alzheimer's right now.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
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