SMOKE DOGGS: Feel Da Bass, submitted by f37u5.eX. Now I don't know about you guys, but when I think "hardcore rap" I think "white guys from Middletown High School in Maryland complaining about their parents and the Internet." "Smoke Doggs" is a wonderful multimedia experience chock full of catchy rap tunes served up by plucky white suburban teenagers who won't have any problem "busting a cap" in "yo ass," so you'd better not "dis" them or else their "posse" will send you "rude emails." Chilli, Blade, Hit Man, Lil Snipe, and Dyzire serve up the freshest freeware beats their Creative Wave Studio program could record, and rap about the problems plaguing America's white youth of today, as heard in the catchy tune "Mean Old Things":

Chorus 1:
Mommy, Daddy why you say those things?
Those mean old things? X3

[Verse one: Chilli & Blade]
Maybe one day ill buy you some diamond rings.
Dad we could live like kings,
Momma ill give you what the world bring.
Under the sun light,
The clock in my head ain't ticking right,
If I didn’t have windows I wouldn’t know if its day or night.
I’m sick of this fight,
I’ve always been plight.
Talking to me like I'm an ideate,
Sheena how am I unfit?
Dad why should I quit?

Oh those poor boys! I am assuming this song details their parents begging them nonstop to "quit rapping" and "stop being an embarrassment." But aw hell, ya know, dey just don undahstan, yo. The ghetto is in the blood of these upstanding youths! They have to be true to their roots or else, damn nigga, who they be tryin' to kid, yo? Word on the street is I'm a bitch and I'm probably gonna get WACKED for dissing these fly homeboys but, yo, what can I say? I gots THE INTERNET in my blood yo!

PS: Aw hell naw, check out their profiles. My favorite is Chilli's biography, which includes such wonderful hardcore rapper tidbits as "When started rapping: Around 7 years old," "If you could be any animal ,what animal would you be? Bald Eagle." Damn, only the hardcore thugs wanna be bald eagles, nigga!

PPS: They also have a forum all you Smoke Doggs fans can post on. HELL YEAH, INTERNET!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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