Blue Ridge Nebula Airline, submitted by Kruger. Woah nellie! It seems the race to bring commercial travel up into space has reached a fevered pitch, with multi-billion dollar companies fighting each other for those precious space bucks. Well movie over Virgin Airlines, because "Blue Ridge Nebula Airlines" is here and they mean business! Well, assuming "business" means "pushing a pickup truck-sized sauce pan on wheels down the highway at ridiculously safe speeds."
The New Paradigm in Space Flight Transportation
There's a Ribbon in the Stars for You
10% down today saves you 15% tomorrow on your next business flight to the stars, so consider making your future space flight reservations here at your blue ribbon connection in the stars.
"Blue ribbon connection," more like Blue Ribbon Pabst. So let me get this straight: if I put 10% down today, these guys can take me into space tomorrow? Hell, I'm writing a check and packing my space-bags right now! I can't wait to board the square, 20-foot wide styrofoam UFO that Commander 6-Pack there is piloting! I hope he'll be wearing his official space pilot tank top. My only concern is that their space shit - I mean space ship - might experience a few issues while reentering the Earth's atmosphere. It's not like I don't trust these guys, but I just get a little nervous when I can see the plywood sticking out of the ship that's supposed to take me into space. It's easy to have faith in a company when they produce scientific evidence such as this:
10% down today gets you a good down payment on a copy of Adobe Photoshop and a new Haynes wife beater undershirt. Act now and we'll let you assemble a good portion of the spacecraft by yourself. Bring your own roofing nails and beer.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.