Sugar Bush Squirrel, submitted by therapy. Squirrels are vicious wild animals that would just as soon tear at your eyes as eat an acorn, but for some reason a few people think they are cute and try to keep them as pets. The owner of Sugar Bush Squirrel not only managed to sedate one of the rabid monsters long enough to pet it, they did so and then dressed it up as a wide variety of people.
"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I
THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY."
Why do the crazy animal and dead baby people always love Jesus so fucking much? They're going to give the guy a bad reputation. It's animal cruelty with an adorable twist! The thoughts of revenge floating through that squirrel's tiny brain must be quite a thing to experience. But hey, it's for a good cause: profit!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.