Future Horizons Advanced Tec, submitted by . Ever wonder where all the people featured on "The Art Bell Show" shop? Folks, we've hit the payload!
The Wishing Machine- Imagine if you had 3 wishes. Well with this device, you have as many as you want. The equivilant of an electronic genie, it amplifies users brain waves to make your wishes literally come true! Be careful what you wish for. #WISZ Fully assembled----$124.00
Electronic Mind Control- Control people's minds with this amazingly simple technology. Others will do anything you program them to. Get that raise you always wanted. Solid-State circuit works great on women too. #MINZ Fully Assembled----$124.00
Crystal Power Rod- Also known as an Atlantean power rod. These devices amplify the mind energy of it's operator and allow the projection of this energy through time and space. It is actually a miniature Subatomic Particle Beam Projector. #CRYZ Fully Asembled----$110.00
Psionic Helmet- Construct a mind focusing/tuning helmet to be used for influencing others. Become a techno-shamen. Best used with our various electronic meditation plans. Very powerful! Now includes a crystal powered telepathic enhancer. #HELZ Kit of all necessary parts including plans----$189.00
Plant Communication- Strange but true, this device allows you to monitor the emotional output of plants! Your plants can be turned into bio-androids to turn on electrical devices. They're amazingly respondent to emotional moods of nearby humans. #PLAC Plans----$15.00
UFO Detector- Pocket sized, battery operated device can detect any nearby Ufo's within miles. Extremely sensitive. Can detect any large metal objects moving through the air. #UFOD Plans----$8.00
Time Portals- If you wish to travel physically through time, then this is the report for you. Shows you how to construct 3 different Time Portals. Also contains information on how to construct an artificial Grid point. #PORT Plans----$20.00
Obtain Fuel from Water- Produce Hydrogen from water efficiently. Learn how to convert any internal combustion engine to run on water. Can power your car, home, lawnmower and heat your house. #WATE Plans----$25.00
Believe it or not, there's a section on this page marked "Strange Science", and not a single one of these items were listed on that page. It's hard to imagine that anybody who honestly thinks this crap works would think anything could be considered "strange."
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.