The Gospel of Timothy, submitted by Roger. Have you always wanted to join a religious movement but have never found one that agrees with your opinions that God does not want people to have to work and companies should be sued for 450 billion dollars if anyone is ever injured using their products or services? Then join the Timotheans! Rather than peace or love or acceptance, the main stance of the Timotheans revolves around the idea that everyone who has ever been wronged by anyone else should sue them out of existence, or else they are a mentally ill psychotic Mafia serial-killer.
Oh yeah, and I'm not sure, but I think Timothy believes he's the Messiah. Somehow I am not surprised.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
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