Tour Virtual Hell, submitted by Fred. This amazing little website allows you to tour a virtual reproduction of Hell. Apparently, everything we've read about Hell is wrong and it's really just a collection of public domain animated gifs and annoying MIDI music. Sounds pretty accurate to me!
I'm sure you think this is just some big joke, but it's not...it really is a matter of life and death. If you think you can be good on your own, without God's help, well...ROFL...you've fallen for the same lie Eve did! Boy, that tree of the knowledge of GOOD and EVIL really did her and her hubby in...but you knew that already, didn't ya? Of course you did! You're their decendants. Their genes are running through you like wild DNA!
Yeah I sure did sir! Yeah their DNA is just cruising through me as I speak! Gosh, it sure is fun to be the offspring of two inbreeding fictional characters conjured up by some drunk-off-his-ass Monk in the 8th century! Thank you for your witty banter, Satan!
The most befuddling thing about this "Virtual Hell" is that it's not run by angry goth paganists, as you'd probably expect. Instead, it's the brainchild of a loony Christian with a terrible sense of humor and way too much time on his hands. As you descend through the levels of this Virtual Hell, the "jokes" and the Biblical lecturing get more and more obscure, slowly scraping away your desire to live. I have no idea if there's an end to this horror, since my browser mercifully crashed on the 19th page and I didn't bother to go back and subject myself to further torture. Don't visit this site. It's like a cutesy haunted house run by senior citizens, only more annoying. And louder.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.