Shadow Cat's Fan Ficti, submitted by . Remember that horrifying piece of Lowtax fan fiction I wrote? Welp, if you enjoyed that immensely, perhaps you'll enjoy some quality Veronica's Closet or Earth 2 fan fiction as well! Here's a tasty free sample in the form of the complete text of Candle in the Wind, which as you can probably guess is a WWF fan fic story:

Stephanie shrieked in terror as she crawled across the floor of her hotel room. But her attacker was relentless he grabbed her by her blood caked hair and hauled her to her feet. Stephanie screamed again, her face was smeared with blood, tears, lipstick and salvia rendering her recognisable.

"Please! Please!" she begged as tears and smeared eye shadow ran down her puffy, blotchy face. Her attacker laughed mocking her pleas and then with one sudden, violent movement slammed her head into the large window.

The glass shattered as Stephanie was hurled through the window. She hurtled to the street 20 stories below. There was the sound of impact and horrified cries of passers by.

The headline of the Greenwich newspaper proclaimed: Killer of wrestling heiress receives death penalty. The story was accompanied by a picture of a scowling and broody Triple H and a smiling Stephanie in her pretty wedding dress on the day of her aborted marriage to Test.

Shane had to admit his sister did look pretty in that picture. It was probably the corset, diamond jewellery and the caked on makeup that hid the bitter, sourness that had lurked in Stephanie's soul. He smiled; Triple H was still pleading his innocence. Nobody believed him, which was ironic as for once he was telling the truth. As far as the world was concerned Triple H had thrown the unloved Stephanie out of a window to her death. Shane smiled and then calmly ripped the photograph of this dead sister to shreds.

"Burn in hell." He laughed, his dear unmourned sister had said the exact same thing to him just minutes before her threw her out the window.

Oh, bless you, glorious Internet! A shining gleaming beacon for terrible hack writers everywhere! Myself included, o' course. And don't forget to check out The Nanny fan fiction, for extra "fun."

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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