REoL TOUGH: Home of the DeatH Fest, submitted by 500 different people who sent this in. A 30-year old unemployed virgin creates horrible DooM 2 maps, terrible Quake maps, and a remarkably painful webpage which really forces me to loathe the entire world. The "website" contains pages and pages and pages of psychotic, bizarre, insane ramblings of superiority and self-glorification such as these gems:
Fans fire back, called REoL TOUGH: "The MetallicA of Doom".
Fan base gigantic. Literally became "...Cult Phenomenon."
Interviews and chats refused. It interfered with future works. :)
Released The Uprising. Amazed the critics with high detail.
King REoL: the idol for millions of Americans! The pride of the nation! The owner of the loudest and most abrasive website in the history of the universe! However, THERE'S MORE! I was recently blessed by the great gods above and had the fortunate pleasure of receiving an ACTUAL AUTHENTIC EMAIL from Mr. King REoL Himself in regards to the threat of Something Awful permanently shutting down! Check it out, ladies and gents, and bathe in the wisdom of the King of REoLs!
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: One GOOD Turn DESERVES Another
Glad I saw what was coming to you finally happened, total failure. I'm also glad to say that you got what you deserved, with crappy support, and treating your "customer base" (the "users") like total shit. I also sicked the Nintendo lawyers after you for the "Rom Pit" you also have ran, if that's the REAL reason you're shut down. :D
Congrats, Lowtax! You got what you deserved. (REoL TOUGH outlasts yet ANOTHER large site.) What GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND! Ever heard that? Will you ever learn? Now I can see why you were FIRED from Gamespy, and removed from PlanetQuake. Saw the future from that point, and was right. ENJOY!
What a guy! I guess the AOL morons of the world are now firmly united against myself and my site, joining the psychotic people who spend all day bitching on certain IRC channels. It's only a matter of time before AOL sees a dramatic increase in pages entitled "LOWTWAX SUX!!! GOODBYE SOEMTHING AWEFUL!!!" with crude 12-color representations of my skull falling into a septic tank while a robotic nun rapes my corpse. Letters like this are quite heartwarming to me, as they let me know that I'm indeed doing something right by running this page.
PS: Mr. King REoL asks for all feedback to be sent here, via his snazzy AOL form. Hey, I'm just providing the link.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.