Crossbow Images, submitted by senor sock. Do you hunger for a sandwich of incredible web design? Thirst for a refreshing soft-drink of event photography? Well, Crossbow Images is a meal combo for you, with incredibly high quality interactive Flash animation intros, blazing one minute load times on every page, and photography and video that will make your brain shoot out of your eyes they are so good. I can honestly say that if I needed a web designed I would have Crossbow Images do all the web work for me! They've got big names under their belt like Gun Smoke Sporting Clays and Thunder and Lightning Custom Embroidery so you can be sure that they have experience dealing with high profile and high demand clients; clients that want the most out of their Flash intro.
Just look at this sample from Thunder and Lightning!!
Thunder and Lightning welcomes you to our Official Homepage. We are a fully mobile custom embroidery service, specializing in wildlife and sporting themes. Inside our site you will find out who we are and what we do, and you can enjoy a sampling of our many designs and themes. Come in, relax, and enjoy our site!!!
Wait, what?! What the fuck is that orange blob of crap? That and a picture of a fucking trailer are the only thing on that opening page other than a horrible goddamn Flash intro where the sound is so out of synch with the visual it makes "The Jazz Singer" look like it was filmed in Dolby Digital. Well, maybe their client demanded that hellspawned image, so let's take a look at their own web graphics.
What does your Website do? Does it just sit there, links and text and maybe a few pictures, but no animation or graphics? Let Crossbow Images create animation that will bring your site to life and make your customers say "WOW" and make your competition ask "Where did they get that?" From simple animations to complex and colorful logos, banners, buttons and much, much more can be yours.......and affordably!!! Crossbow Images offers the most competitive rates in the area, and we can handle all aspects of getting your business on the Web, from design and creation to hosting, maintenance, and listing in the search engines. If it's affordability you want in Web Presence, look no farther than Crossbow Images. Contact Us today!!!
Now when looking at the screenshot imagine everything that is wrong with the world. Then go to any page on this site and there you will find it. OH DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED A DOZEN FAT FLASHING DIVIDER GRAPHICS?! WELL CROSSBOW IMAGES HAS YOUR UGLY AS FUCK GRAPHICS SOLUTION! How can you go wrong with Crossbow Images? They are a member of the prestigious HTML Writer's Guild!! Their sites have won awards ranging from "World's Web of the Day Bronze Award" to "Kat's Kool Site Design Award". They are an unstoppable force in multimedia marketing and they are reading to ekick it up an inotch!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
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