Remember Ello, the starkly designed social network that was supposed to be a cool, hip alternative to Facebook? Well, now there's an even hipper "fast rising social media platform" on the scene: myp.wap.mu. It's so hip it doesn't even have a name!

With its ungodly terrible design, Myp - I'm calling it Myp, by the way - straddles that fine line between "last-minute coding project" and "brazen scam designed to steal social security numbers from the elderly." It is not really so much a social network as it is a mish-mash of various things: a forum, chat rooms, a comment wall. Everything about it seems just a wee bit mysterious. Like, why is the favicon a bug? Its description on Google makes it sound like a bunch of spambots cut out the middleman and made their own forum:

Who could say no to the zion? I decided to register and take a look at the great community, the "Pteph blogs," and of course the "fghj." (You'll have to register too if you want to follow any of the links, but with Myp's volume of content being what it is, they're all recreated in their entirety in the screen shots.)

Myp's founder is a teen going by the name Chromo D,, whose profile says his "Favouraite Music" is "gangstar rap."

Almost a year old, Myp still hasn't quite caught on yet, which must be disappointing for young Chromo. Luckily there's someone on the comment wall to give him a much-needed confidence boost:

Don't worry, you'll see... by this time next year, Myp'll have Google+ numbers!!!

Myp's fledgling forum is even more of a ghost town, but it contains some hidden gems, like these deeply inspirational posts from one of its three threads:

Over in the chat area, Chromo seems to have overestimated the demand for channels, with a whopping nine. There's one for girls, one for "boyz," one for Myp senior regulars, and even one for Wiz Khalifa:

What can be done to attract new users? Well, everybody loves collecting points, right?

Just for logging in, you get 100 points ("pluses"). If you save up enough pluses, you can trade them in for amazing features like leveling up, which isn't explained in any way. Also, invisible mode, so you can hide from the zero other people visiting.

One of the key growth areas for Myp is dating, already the only part of the site to boast double-digit traffic. And ladies, the odds are in your favor!

You just have to fill out your "dating form," which is the same as your regular profile. Then, hopefully, the dates will start rolling in. Good luck, have fun!

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)

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