NoRiders divides this homepage chart into two parts. One lists undesirable results (being self-conscious, annoyance, threat of gross upper thigh), while the other proposes happy alternatives (self-confidence, enjoyment, relatively modest display of ugly legs). Noticing that "buy now" was in the bad column, I opted for "watch video," thus experiencing a terrifying stop-motion animation sequence in which someone's crotch constricts into a tight asterisk.
In case you read my profile online and got excited, I wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.