NoRiders divides this homepage chart into two parts. One lists undesirable results (being self-conscious, annoyance, threat of gross upper thigh), while the other proposes happy alternatives (self-confidence, enjoyment, relatively modest display of ugly legs). Noticing that "buy now" was in the bad column, I opted for "watch video," thus experiencing a terrifying stop-motion animation sequence in which someone's crotch constricts into a tight asterisk.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

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  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

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