NoRiders divides this homepage chart into two parts. One lists undesirable results (being self-conscious, annoyance, threat of gross upper thigh), while the other proposes happy alternatives (self-confidence, enjoyment, relatively modest display of ugly legs). Noticing that "buy now" was in the bad column, I opted for "watch video," thus experiencing a terrifying stop-motion animation sequence in which someone's crotch constricts into a tight asterisk.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.