NoRiders divides this homepage chart into two parts. One lists undesirable results (being self-conscious, annoyance, threat of gross upper thigh), while the other proposes happy alternatives (self-confidence, enjoyment, relatively modest display of ugly legs). Noticing that "buy now" was in the bad column, I opted for "watch video," thus experiencing a terrifying stop-motion animation sequence in which someone's crotch constricts into a tight asterisk.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.