Paul Luftenegger is a "Multi Award Winning International Singer & Songwriter" with a global fan base that includes celebrities, political rulers, and royalty. With that level of success, you'd think he might be able to afford a decent website, but you'd be wrong!

His home page is a huge mess of different colors and fonts, making it look like a teenager's Angelfire page (he is almost 40) mixed with a deranged madman's manifesto. Everything has been shoved onto one page - a never-ending myriad of inane press releases with titles like "Estimated 1+Million Listeners Will Share My Music Over The Next 5 Weeks," album previews, a random prayer here and there, and a list of milestones that may or may not have actually happened, like "Oprah Winfrey Holding My CD's In Her Hands With Love For Them!" Don't believe it? Just look at this super-convincing low-quality JPEG of Oprah Winfrey with words on it!

Paul has a special obsession with Oprah, whom he mentions more than 50 times. He dedicated his latest album to her and her network because her TV show comforted him after his father died. In response to the barrage of fan mail he no doubt sent her, Oprah - or, rather, an intern at her magazine - finally reciprocated the love with a 2-sentence postcard acknowledging his existence. Squeee!

This has inspired Paul to keep focusing on the uplifting, New Age-y sound he calls "conscious music":

"Conscious music is an infinite endless storehouse of LOVE held in timeless vibration - a battery that is always charged that is ready, willing, and able to aid the listener's LOVE through the heart and soul opening." -- Paul Luftenegger

His songs tackle the big issues, like dreaming big dreams and surrendering to love. His hit song "Grown Men Cry" ("A SONG TO BRING AWARENESS TO THE FACT GROWN MEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY FREELY WITH THEIR EMOTIONS TO HEAL THE EMOTIONAL BODY WITHIN") has even received high praise from royalty ... Cambodian royalty, that is:

"Once again Paul Luftenegger has reached the bottom of our hearts with his latest song 'Grown Men Cry'. I am sure that your day will be enlightened with love and compassion listening to him. Please enjoy." -- His Highness Prince Sisowath Ravivaddhana Monipong

Apparently bad taste knows no borders.

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.