Some pet owners let their dogs shit wherever they want, without regard for the neighbors' lawns or their own floors. Some carry some sort of plastic bag with which to scoop the crap from the ground, because they are considerate. And some pick up the dung with their hands, so they can fling it at any passers-by that give them the stink-eye. Most of humanity believed a fourth option would never exist, until PooTrap unveiled its revolutionary canine colostomy bag!
Obviously whenever a company unveils a product this innovative, people have questions. PooTrap has answers!
Do you think PooTrap humiliates your dog when wearing the product?
"Babies wear diapers and they are truly loved by their parents, hence same applied to the dog owners who use our PooTrap do actually truly love their dogs. Understanding that your dog can get very sick from their own feces or your child playing in the grass at the park or even your own lawn can be a major health dager. That is the main issue that we try to relate to our customers. Not to mention the convenient benefits the PooTrap has to offer on it's own."
Will my dog get used to the PooTrap?
"As you know there are many things dogs do not like such as showers, grooming, eating dry food. however, when they are used to all these things, they will be excited about it. According to our statistics, 98% of dogs will be used to PooTrap after trying it for three days. Again they will be excited to see "PooTrap" on them because this means that their owner is going to walk them out again."
You can't argue with statistics that account for 98 percent of dogs! Unless you attach PooTrap to your dog's anus using a harness, strings and buckles, you're a monster with no regard for your pet's clearly stated preferences regarding excretion storage and disposal. Enlightened owners might fling their soiled PooBags at you in disgust.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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