The Academy of Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing (thanks bandit a la mode) - We are all spiritual beings trapped in a confusing technological world. But hey, buy some of our CDs and you'll learn how to be frigging psychic! Hooray!
How would you like to be able at any time to sense/preview all possible destinies available to you and then use thoughts energized with high inner Light in order to powerfully bring the future YOU choose in the life you will experience?
Would you like to directly experience an extremely high and illuminated level of YOUR OWN mind where all that IS possible can be created and then manifested for you at any time?
Our Academy, a pioneer in mind/matter research and applications, has been teaching since 1997 highly specialized mind technologies originating from the international intelligence community and advanced mystics and mind masters.
I wonder if advanced mystics are like regular mystics that have been grinding goblins at a New Age retreat in Burbank. Welp, whatever, let me just buy these 500 CDs and I'm sure I'll be flying around with my mind in no time. Guaranteed to work!
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.