The Academy of Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing (thanks bandit a la mode) - We are all spiritual beings trapped in a confusing technological world. But hey, buy some of our CDs and you'll learn how to be frigging psychic! Hooray!



How would you like to be able at any time to sense/preview all possible destinies available to you and then use thoughts energized with high inner Light in order to powerfully bring the future YOU choose in the life you will experience?

Would you like to directly experience an extremely high and illuminated level of YOUR OWN mind where all that IS possible can be created and then manifested for you at any time?

Our Academy, a pioneer in mind/matter research and applications, has been teaching since 1997 highly specialized mind technologies originating from the international intelligence community and advanced mystics and mind masters.

I wonder if advanced mystics are like regular mystics that have been grinding goblins at a New Age retreat in Burbank. Welp, whatever, let me just buy these 500 CDs and I'm sure I'll be flying around with my mind in no time. Guaranteed to work!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.