Skinema is one of those sites where someone has two distinct interests and tries to force them together awkwardly. Surprisingly, given the domain name, those two distinct interests are not "movies" and "pornographic movies." People who instinctively type "skinema.com" expecting to find an index filled with grainy nude-scene screenshots of their favorite actresses instead get something much ickier: "Dermatologist and film buff" Vail Reese, MD over-analyzing fictional characters' skin conditions while dispensing enough terrible puns to make a friar cringe.
The humor section is the absolute worst. Mr. Skinema describes things like the sores on the Spinal Tap dudes' lips, which is a joke anyway, and Nicholas Cage's sweating in Adaptation, which isn't funny or interesting at all. What his write-ups highlight, though, is just how weirdly obsessed with skin this guy is. I can't fault the guy entirely - it is his profession - but I'm pretty sure most proctologists don't constantly consider celebrity assholes. I just want him to cool off a little, to show some interest in the movies themselves, rather than the skin world they present.
Actually, I'm 99% positive this is just another way for this guy to talk about peoples' skin, but he hopes it will interest people more than when he usually bores everyone by talking about peoples' skin because this time he's talking about famous people's skin. He's wrong, of course, because even if you can somehow get past the creepy factor, this shit is boring to the degree that it hurts to try to read to the end of the awkwardly formatted page. Give it a shot, though, if you really want to know what actor "John Cus-acne" could be doing about his pimples.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.