"You don't have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what's going on all around us. A belligerent lower class demanding handouts. A rapidly diminishing middle class crippled by police state bureaucracy. An aloof, ruling elite that has introduced us to an emerging totalitarianism which seeks control over every aspect of our lives."
Survival Seed Bank warns that the kind of fat cats who purchase their food from "grocery stores" are in for a shock: "Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring." Oh no, it's spring right now! How can I prepare for this impending catastrophic famine while also asserting my agricultural independence?
The solution: Seeds! By stockpiling "super seeds" (which produce apocalypse-appropriate produce such as "bloody butcher corn"), plan-ahead sorts can subside during the inevitable collapse of the commercial food industry. But how will they defend their lush acreage against starvation-ravaged marauders? Guns, lots of guns. (Sold separately.)
Unsurprisingly, Ron Paul supporters approve.
Children. Small children.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.