"You don't have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what's going on all around us. A belligerent lower class demanding handouts. A rapidly diminishing middle class crippled by police state bureaucracy. An aloof, ruling elite that has introduced us to an emerging totalitarianism which seeks control over every aspect of our lives."
Survival Seed Bank warns that the kind of fat cats who purchase their food from "grocery stores" are in for a shock: "Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring." Oh no, it's spring right now! How can I prepare for this impending catastrophic famine while also asserting my agricultural independence?
The solution: Seeds! By stockpiling "super seeds" (which produce apocalypse-appropriate produce such as "bloody butcher corn"), plan-ahead sorts can subside during the inevitable collapse of the commercial food industry. But how will they defend their lush acreage against starvation-ravaged marauders? Guns, lots of guns. (Sold separately.)
Unsurprisingly, Ron Paul supporters approve.
Children. Small children.
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.