Psychologists once asked people to compare their bowel movements to photos of other people's feces. The subjects all favored their own shits. One of the Internet's proudest achievements has been to eliminate this bias with objective quantification sites such as Ratemypoo.com. But people who don't mind cheating to produce aesthetically pleasing excreta can order the Turd Twister, an attachment that turns your ass into a Play-Doh Fun Factory.
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
Out here in the Wild West we got some rules for gunfightin', like a pregnant lady ain't gotta be carryin' iron for you to draw on her first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.