Monarchies occasionally result in tragic stagnation, as people become complacent in their roles as leaders for life. Take the Web King, who rose to the throne in 1996 and refuses to recognize any design innovations since that date. The King's quirks include using the anachronistic printer-and-scanner method to produce screen grabs, employing the old "under construction" GIF, and suggesting his wife looks mannish during a failed attempt at self-deprecation. Naturally, the King governs the people of Las Vegas, who probably find his particular brand of gaudiness quaint.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.