"Thousand of woman have ghosts in their private area and don't know it," warns Haunted America Tours. This condition causes specter-infested crotches to glow and transmit "black energy." Uterus inhabitants include dead babies (probably stillborns who weren't properly placated with postmortem gifts) and deceased husbands, who live in constant fear of having their immortal spirits penetrated by some new dude's dick. Occasionally peni are commandeered as poltergeist flashlights, but usually males must deal with the daunting presence of the notoriously rude Bowel Ghost. If you're unsure whether your vaginal/anal misfortunes are due to malevolent phantoms or some less exotic culprit like venereal disease or colon cancer, follow this protocol: "Try passing an EMF Meter over your naked body. And recording EVP's by placing a digital voice recorder in your genital regions. You might be surprised at the results."
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.