Hip Hop Tomb Raiderz (1998)

Directed by:
Alberto Peon

Writing credits: 
Alberto Peon

Genre: Hip Hopera / Adventure / Horror

Tagline: From Da Cradle To Da Ancient Incan Grave

Plot Outline: "Indiana Jones" meets "Boys n the Hood" when five world-renowned archaeologists/hip hop moguls find themselves in a remote jungle palace for one final dig. After they find a stockpile of Incan treasure (and upset an immortal prince in the process) who should they fear more, the undead or themselves? (view trailer)

User Comments: An epic hip hop quest the likes of which we have not seen since "Soul Plane" (more)

User Rating: A STAR!? A STAR!? A STAR!? A STAR!? A STAR!? NO STAR!!! A STAR!!!! A STAR!!!! NO STAR!!!! NO STAR!!!!4.3/10 (8,034 votes)

Credited cast:
Earl "DMX" Simmons....Professor Phineas R. Compton
Tiny "Zeus" Lister....Tyrone Rockafeller III
Snoop Dogg....Dr. Franklin L. Rosenschwarz
Missy Elliot....Lara Inglewood
Mario Van Peebles....Lead Anthropologist Gunther
Big Puinsher....King Huascar Myoatl
Fat Joe....General Olmar Olatltan
Fork Banger....Lead Undead Artisan
(more)

Also Known As:

¡Escape el Palacio de Undead! (Mexico)
Blut Englisch, Gold der Toten (Germany)

Runtime: USA: 105 min / Germany: 98 min / Mexico: 98 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Technifaaaaaaabulous
Sound Mix: Jakelines, Inc.

AMDB Trivia:

  • Snoop Dogg spent much of his time away from the camera destroying antique pots and artwork "just to show these plebe-ass niggas how a straight-up loaded Dogg rolls."
  • Special effects technicians used a series of mirrors and directed light to make Lister's lazy eye stare to the left instead of the right. When asked why he spent millions of dollars to achieve such an effect, Director Alberto Peon spat on the reporter.
  • Missy Elliot demanded that several tons of pig excrement be dumped on set daily so she wouldn't become homesick.
  • Peon passed a kidney stone during shooting, then sold it to a rabid Snoop Dogg fan who thought it was an ancient artifact.
  • Director trademark: Characters vomiting all over themselves and carrying on as though nothing has happened.
  • Big Punisher's glowing eye was actually the product of a rare jungle disease but was later worked into the plot so producers could write the rapper's medical treatment off on their taxes.
  • Earl "DMX" Simmons stormed off set at least three times a day but was lured back each time by a producer shaking a box of Milk Bones in the direction he ran.
  • After the first film many Hollywood insiders predicted a sequel to Hip Hop Tomb Raiderz, given its cliffhanger ending. Rumors of said sequel stopped after reporters spotted Peon storming out of a producer's office with the imprint of a gunbarrel on his forehead.
  • Mario Van Peebles was hired on a whim when the casting director accidentally wrote "untalented jerkoff with funny name" instead of "strong male lead" in the casting call.
  • Peon paid each local 50 cents USD to shave their heads to quell his fear of catching "some creepy foriegn head lice".
  • Tiny "Zeus" Lister became physically violent at the mere thought of reading and destroyed several priceless sculptures when Peon jokingly left a dictionary in his dressing room.
  • Peon spent over eight million dollars converting one of the palace rooms into a recording studio so Snoop Dogg could record the movie's soundtrack in his off time. After a contract dispute Snoop refused to record the soundtrack or even enter the custom-built studio. The palace, which now sits empty, reportedly contains the one track the rapper recorded, a looping fart noise with the chorus "nigga want me to rap about mummies and shit, fuck that busta ass nigga".
  • Eidos Interactive, publisher of the "Tomb Raider" games, sued the film's makers for copyright infringement after viewing an advance screening. Ninth circuit judge Liam Bork dismissed the suit, claiming that the film "didn't copy anything that didn't come out of a sick cat's litterbox."
  • After appearing in the movie Fat Joe was noted for breaking two world records: saying "dawg" the most times in one sentence (73) and constructing the world's longest paragraph by repeating the same sentence over and over.
  • Director Trademark: Random shots of a crying woman being force-fed ice by a scaly, bleeding hand.
  • Mario Van Peebles requested that a regulation NBA basketball court be built in the palace's courtyard so he could impress locals with his formidable dribble penetration.(More)

Memorable Quotes:

Lead Anthropologist Gunther: Yo, dawg, get me my grappling hook. I got a mean-ass ghost nigga to kill.
Lara Inglewood: Phineas! Enough of this bullshit! You need to decide right now: are you a rapper or an archaeologist?
Professor Phineas R. Compton: You know that ain't fair, Lara. Rapping's my heart and archaeology's my soul. You kill one you kill the other, man.
Lara Inglewood: This isn't about heart and soul, Phin! You're great at both now, but if you focused on one you'd be a legend! Why you gotta have it both ways, man?
Professor Phineas R. Compton (cocking pistol): That's the way I roll, bitch.

King Huascar Myoatl: It's been years, Olmar. Decades since I've seen the sun. Centuries since I've heard about the world. How am I supposed to know what this "Tupac" is?
General Olmar Olatltan: I don't know, but this shit is fresh! (More)

Goofs:

  • Continuity: The beads woven into Snoop Dogg's hair change color from scene to scene, even though the movie goes out of its way to explain there are no hairdressers in the undead palace.
  • Factual errors: People do not turn into vampires when bitten by skeletons.
  • Revealing mistakes: Snoop Dogg's use of a stand-in is readily visible in several scenes. For instance: while Snoop Dogg carries a pistol in his appearances, the stand-in carries a Civil War-era musket. The stand-in is also white, an obvious contrast to Snoop Dogg's filipino heritage.
  • Factual errors: Persons of Asiatic descent are not capable of spreading the AIDS virus by staring at someone for a long time.
  • Continuity: Lister and Van Peebles walk into the "Chamber of Eternal Dick-Punching Torment" but emerge minutes later rubbing their foreheads, suggesting that their punishment did not involve dick-punching or eternity.
  • Errors made by characters: Simmons calls Elliot a "fat bitch" in several scenes when she is in fact a fat fucking bitch.
  • Plot holes: Big Punisher and Fat Joe command an army of undead dinosaurs in the movie. Historically, dinosaurs hated Incan royalty and would go out of their way just to piss them off.
  • Crew or equipment visible: The hose used to spray moss and debris off Big Punisher's back is visible in several scenes, and footprints from his washing crew can be seen on his back at least twice.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Snoop Dogg's constant mixed racial slurs (such as "sand wop" and "jiggaroundeye") were intentional: since Incans disappeared centuries ago Peon decided to use a number of slurs "to see what would stick".
  • Factual errors: Kurt Cobain and Michael Hutchence never toured as a rap group under the guise "Dead Faggots Society".
  • Anachronisms: While the Incans did enjoy several primitive sports they certainly were not fans of the Oakland Raiders.
  • Miscellaneous: In many scenes you can see the tip of a Pringles can extruding from Mario Van Peebles' zipper.
  • Revealing mistakes: Towards the end of the snake-eating scene a motivational poster saying "look to the sky (and the bridge of your nose)" is visible in Tiny "Zeus" Lister's dressing room.

– Evan "Pantsfish" Wade

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