Submitted by SamuraiFoochs
SamuraiFoochs is awesome for submitting this hilarious video of some 'roided-out meat head rambling on and on and on and on about "Stevia" (some "I love cocaine but hate constantly getting arrested and having my children taken away by Child Protection Services" faux-drug that people, like, toooootally swear gets you high as shit, duuuuude). SamuraiFoochs also sucks because, when sending the video, he included a joke that is 10 times funnier than anything I have ever written. Namely, this little gem:
"It's sorta like if the singer from 3 Doors Down became a meth-head and decided he wanted to become an Ultimate Fighter, but whatever it is, it's fucking confusing and I was pretty much expecting him to have an aneurysm in there somewhere."
Goddamn it, SamuraiFoochs. You've instigated a YouTube arms race that will surely result in the death of us all. But y'know what? You wanna go? We'll go motherfucker. YEAH. FUCK YEAH. LET'S DO THIS.
The ball is in your court, SamuraiFoochs. Checkmate.
That about does it for this week of AwfulVision! Thanks to everyone who submitted a terrible video this week, including myself since I actually got off my fat, lazy, pasty ass and found a video myself for once. Hooray!
If you'd like to join this rogue's gallery of ne'er-do-wells, then you are in luck! All you need is a terrible video and the ability to click this link right here. Do it, or else I won't be able to fund my raging Stevia habit.
See you jerks next time!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!