Submitted by Cody B.
I am not even embedding it. That's how fucking fucked this thing is. I've reviewed videos of cartoon dogs masturbating. I've done videos of guys shitting themselves while riding an exercise bike. I've seen the morbidly obese and the terminally unfunny and everything in between and I swear to God, Buddha, Vishnu and Thor that I have never seen anything as fucked up as this on YouTube. Ever. Not even close.
It's a dude in short-shorts, a bra and mask jerking off onto a centipede while music and sound effects from Metroid play. Somehow, this has made it past the YouTube censors for 2 and a half months. In other news, YouTube's censors are some of the most worthless people on earth.
I seriously can't describe how messed up this is. You have my permission to flag the fuck out of this video. It deserves it. It doesn't even deserve to exist ironically for us to make fun of. You also have my permission to carve out the part of my brain that stores the memory of this atrocity. I'm sure this will be flagged within minutes of going live, as well it should, so trust me here: you really didn't want to see it anyway. It's for the best. Ugh.
Welp, I guess this abomination is a good enough place to call it quits for this week. Big ups to all the people who submitted videos this week! If you'd like to join the ranks of people who read my dumb article and send me videos, then submit a video here OR ELSE.
See you jerks next time!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!