I don't know how I've managed to not touch on it in the 8 or 9 articles I've written, but a constant source of amusement on Youtube™ is the videos people post of themselves making horrible covers of various songs. Most are absolutely terrible, though some are actually impressive, or somewhat well pulled off.
But as I watch more and more of these very videos, I've noticed that no one can play Smells Like Teen Spirit. Forget how butt-fuckingly easy the song is to begin with; forget that it's usually featured within the first 5 pages of any "SO YOU WANT TO PLAY GUITAR" book; forget that it was written by A: a heroin addict who B: wasn't a very good guitarist to begin with who C: wasn't really well known for playing at the peak of his smacked-up, thimbleful of talent anyway. No one can play it and make it sound halfway decent. No one.
Don't believe me? Fine. Let's start with this obvious inclusion:
Hmm. Okay, you have a point. These kids have obviously been playing their instruments for somewhere between 30 minutes to an hour. Let's see how some girls who are in some exclusive Swedish music school do.
Ouch. This is worse than I thought. Well, surely professional, big name band "Flyleaf" will be able to pull such a simple song off. I mean, unlike the rest of these fuck ups, "Flyleaf"'s job is playing music.
Ugh... god damn it. Why, oh why, can't people play a simple song? Surely there's someone with the chops to do this swingin' joint justice.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!