That's right. For the next few weeks here at AwfulVision™, we're going to be searching for the best video ever hosted on the internet. How will we do this? Simple! At the end of the next few articles, I'll hand pick two videos that you guys submit and they will battle it out in an AwfulVision™ Cage Match™! Two videos enter! One video leaves! Excitement!
This week, our contenders are two video heavyweights that are not fond of each other and are out for blood! In this corner, weighing in at a trim 1 megabyte, we have two possibly retarded girls dressing up as chickens and scaring the living shit out of their dad at 2 am!
And in this corner, weighing in at a svelt 512 kilobytes, a friend slapping his friend in the face and the humorous reaction that results!
Who will win the first ever AwfulVision™ Cage Match™? Will the quick humor of "I can't believe you done this" triumph? Or will the retarded girls driving their dad to alcoholism come out victorious? My money is on one of those two to be honest! Since this is a real contest, be sure to send in your votes because in two weeks a winner will be crowned and we'll have a fresh set of combatants ready to duke it out for the title of Best Video Ever Made™™™.
Well, that wraps it up for another amazing edition of AwfulVision™. Thanks to all my pals who sent in videos this week. I couldn't do this without you (literally. I'm far too lazy). If you have any suggestions for AwfulVision, or for an AwfulVision™ Cage Match™ contestant, send them here. And as always, we have an official YouTube™ channel where you can watch your favorite AwfulVision™ Videos of yore and also send me messages telling me what an unfunny jerk I am!
Thanks for reading and I hope you do not die before the next edition of AwfulVision™, but if you do please give me your stuff!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!