Submitted by Brad D.
A Timeline of Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey's adventures in the world of file sharing:
Circa 2000: Metallica couldn't stop me from downloading shitty, 64kbps MP3's over my 33.6k dialup connection.
2001-2005: Viruses, script kiddies and annoying warez sites couldn't stop me from downloading broken-ass "cracked" software that never worked over my 56k modem and later insanely slow DSL.
2006-2010: Leechers, malware and the ever-looming threat of my ISP finding out and banning me didn't stop me from torrenting a small European economy's worth of shit.
Early 2012: Megaupload getting shut down couldn't stop me from downloading annoying, multi-part RAR files.
Late 2012: One naked Russian pirate flapping his shaved dick around and singing about file sharing later and I'm seriously considering turning myself in to the authorities and requesting summary execution for all of my sins over the past 12 years.
"Ayyy guy on girl porn have penises too. What do you think goes into the vagina? I think you should learn how sex works."
"I'm not gay and i love my dick."
"the internet in 3:41 minutes"
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!