Submitted by Brad D.
A Timeline of Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey's adventures in the world of file sharing:
Circa 2000: Metallica couldn't stop me from downloading shitty, 64kbps MP3's over my 33.6k dialup connection.
2001-2005: Viruses, script kiddies and annoying warez sites couldn't stop me from downloading broken-ass "cracked" software that never worked over my 56k modem and later insanely slow DSL.
2006-2010: Leechers, malware and the ever-looming threat of my ISP finding out and banning me didn't stop me from torrenting a small European economy's worth of shit.
Early 2012: Megaupload getting shut down couldn't stop me from downloading annoying, multi-part RAR files.
Late 2012: One naked Russian pirate flapping his shaved dick around and singing about file sharing later and I'm seriously considering turning myself in to the authorities and requesting summary execution for all of my sins over the past 12 years.
"Ayyy guy on girl porn have penises too. What do you think goes into the vagina? I think you should learn how sex works."
"I'm not gay and i love my dick."
"the internet in 3:41 minutes"
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!