AwfulVision Presents: Jeff Indyke, Drum GENIUS

Submitted by me, bitches

Sethfact #2039: In addition to being fabulously wealthy and banging a supermodel, I fancy myself a drummer. Sometimes I like to take a break from watching the videos of dogs pooping and fat people eating things and whatever other awesome videos you faggots send me to make my life a living hell and look up some drumming-related videos.

One day long, long ago (probably like a couple years or something), I found these videos. I've been meaning to use them for AwfulVision for while, but let's be honest here: I am lazy and quite possibly retarded. How can you possibly expect me to remember to use a video I found?

My bosses tell me to include a picture everytime I type a bunch of words, so here is a picture.Anyway, Dr. Jeff Indyke, Ph.D. (the D stands for Drummer and the Ph stands for Phucking awesome) is a DRUM GOD who is gracious enough to take time out of his busy day of hurling lightning bolts and demanding human sacrifice or whatever it is gods do from the comfort of their stylish Long Island basements to upload over 300 videos of himself giving drum lessons. These videos are, on average, let's say 7 minutes long. Calculator.exe informs me that this is over a day and a half of drum lessons.

Don't get me wrong: the guy is obviously a good drummer, but you know how they say "those who can't do, teach"? The inverse is also true apparently because while most conventional drum "lessons" focus on "teaching things", most of Dr. Prof. Indyke's videos consist of:

  • Stuttering and stammering into his echo-y as fuck mic
  • Playing the same beat over and over, no matter what he's trying to teach
  • Doing some awkward fills on the 8000 toms he has set up to his left
  • Occasionally remarking to himself how much he likes something he just did
  • Plugging his email address, web page, (public access) TV show, phone number (for realzies: he wants random Youtubers to call him) etc. for like 3 minutes at the end of most of his videos.

Even if you aren't a drummer, you can probably see that there isn't a whole lot of teaching going on. But don't take my word for it! Here's the man himself: Dr. Jeff Indyke, Ph.D.!

If you've ever wanted to be taught how to play Led Zeppelin's Moby Dick by a guy who tells you to "not think too much of the song" and then proceeds to play something that sounds absolutely nothing like it, now's your chance! Be sure to give Jeff a call and share your thoughts with him (preferably about eating a huge fucking turd).

For those of you who would complain that the last video sounded a little too much like the artist it was supposed to actually sound like, here's Jeff busting out some Danny Carey (of Tool). Note all the awesome comments by the usual sort of pseudo-intellectual shitheads that make up 9/10ths of Tool's fan base.

GOD DAMN IT STOP TALKING SO FUCKING MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Here we have Professor Dr. Jeff Indyke, Ph.D. making history and inventing something that has never been done before: drumming along with music. Seriously, you are witnessing a first here, ladies and gentlemen.

There are just no goddamn words for how much this owns.

In addition to inventing drums, drumming, and drumming along to music, Prof. Dr. Jeff Indyke also apparently invented Youtube Poop.

You get the idea. This guy seriously has like 350 videos of this kind of shit. If you actually want to watch more, knock yourself out. I will also be knocking myself out... with a brick. Fuck this shit.

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As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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