Let this be a lesson in proper condom usage. Wrap your dick up properly or you can look forward to bullshit like this for the next 18 years (unless I have my way, and abortion up to the 58th trimester is legalized).
I'd love to see the parents responsible for these little retards; my guess is that the idiot fruit doesn't fall far from the faggot tree. These are the exact kind of reprobates that, in a few years, will probably be sitting outside my apartment -- seemingly 24 hours a day -- smoking pot, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and acting like gangstas.
I wish they'd get hit by a bus full of dynamite.
"I feel like something inside of me has died"
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!