Submitted by Tanawat Luekr-u-suke
Yo, dogg. Turn me up. No, really, turn me up. I keep hearing the voices of Satan and his Demons in my mind telling me to do bad things and to say cusses. My mommy is having me exorcised this Sunday, but in the meantime please turn up the beat and drown them out! Thank you! Uhh, yeah, let's do this:
My parents don't let me celebrate Halloween (Go Jesus, Go Jesus, Go, Go, Go Jesus)
Still watchin' G-Rated Movies and I just turned 19 (Go Jesus, Go Jesus, Go, Go, Go Jesus)
Rollin' down the street, readin' Bibles, sacramentin' on bread and juice. Laaaaaid back (with my mind on my martyr and my martyr on my mind).
From the stained glass windowwwwwwws to the pews (to da pews). Gonna save some heathens and Jews (some Jews), gonna force feed them my views. Awww, preach preach preach preach motherfucker. Awwww preach preach goddamn.
Now throw your hands in the air and wave 'em like you're deep in prayer.
That about wraps it up for yet another AwfulVision! Thanks to all the assholes who routinely keep this train wreck of an article a-rollin' from paycheck to paycheck.
If you'd like to join the ranks of the people who keep my gainfully employed, you can send a goddamn video right here bitch. Do it. I fucking dare you.
See you jerks next time!
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!