Submitted by Tanawat Luekr-u-suke
Yo, dogg. Turn me up. No, really, turn me up. I keep hearing the voices of Satan and his Demons in my mind telling me to do bad things and to say cusses. My mommy is having me exorcised this Sunday, but in the meantime please turn up the beat and drown them out! Thank you! Uhh, yeah, let's do this:
My parents don't let me celebrate Halloween (Go Jesus, Go Jesus, Go, Go, Go Jesus)
Still watchin' G-Rated Movies and I just turned 19 (Go Jesus, Go Jesus, Go, Go, Go Jesus)
Rollin' down the street, readin' Bibles, sacramentin' on bread and juice. Laaaaaid back (with my mind on my martyr and my martyr on my mind).
From the stained glass windowwwwwwws to the pews (to da pews). Gonna save some heathens and Jews (some Jews), gonna force feed them my views. Awww, preach preach preach preach motherfucker. Awwww preach preach goddamn.
Now throw your hands in the air and wave 'em like you're deep in prayer.
That about wraps it up for yet another AwfulVision! Thanks to all the assholes who routinely keep this train wreck of an article a-rollin' from paycheck to paycheck.
If you'd like to join the ranks of the people who keep my gainfully employed, you can send a goddamn video right here bitch. Do it. I fucking dare you.
See you jerks next time!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!