Submitted by yours truly
YO BROS!!! YOU LOOKIN TO GET YOUR PAR-TAY ON BUT WITH NONE OF THE HOMO SHIT THE OTHER FRATS ARE INTO?? YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, BROSKI. CHI UPSILON MU IS THE FRAT FOR YOU. JUST PULL YOUR JORTS DOWN TO YOUR BIRKENSTOCKS AND BEND OVER WHILE I PUT MY HOSE UP YOUR BUTTHOLE AND SQUIRT SOME WARM, STICKY LIQUID ALL UP IN YOUR RECTUM.
BRO WAIT BRO WHERE ARE YOU GOING COME BACK HERE WE'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO SOME JOHN MAYER AND TALK ABOUT HOW BIG AND THICK HIS DICK MUST BE TO SCORE ALL THE PUSSY HE GETS. FINE FUCK YOU FAGGOT YO CHAD *zip* HOOK ME UP WITH ANOTHER PINA COLON-DA.
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!