This is apparently a Pentecostal church. I know this, not because anyone told me, but because once when I was very young and impressionable, my friend suckered me into going to church with him. His family was Pentecostal. I still haven't recovered.
Actually, the experience was remarkably similar to this. Pentecostals sure love going fucking nuts. From my own Pentecostal experience, I distinctly remember the speaking in tongues part; coincidentally, I remember being scared shitless.
I also remember never ever going over to that friend's house ever again.
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!