Submitted by Daniel Kostuj
This song puts the "tite" in "stalactite"!
Okay that does it for this week's AwfulVision, but before I thank everybody and then say "See you jerks next time", I have a request! Next update, I plan on trying out something new and ambitious for the article. I am not going to say what exactly that new and ambitious thing is just yet (mainly because I don't want a bunch of emails telling me what a stupid, unfunny idea it is), but trust me: it is both new and ambitious (at least more ambitious than my usual unfunny schlock). In fact, it may actually involve me putting upwards of "several" hours of effort into this new thing I'm working on.
So, here's what I need some of you or one of you or all of you or none of you to do: scour Youtube. Find something somewhat longish (i.e. no less than 5 minutes and no more than 15). As usual, make sure it lends itself to mockery. Also, see if you can't find something that has a lot of "stuff" going on. Maybe it's some stupid kids shooting a horrible "movie" they wrote with their mom's video camera. Maybe it's some stupid meme attempt that fails to be funny. Maybe it's something else. I guess what I'm saying is "don't submit some dude making a VLOG where it's just him sitting there the entire time" unless it has a constant stream of funny shit happening.
So, yeah, that's it. Somewhat longish, mockery-worthy and a decent amount of "stuff" happening. You can submit any entries for my special request here (note: it is still my normal email address but I conveniently changed the subject line for you).
Thanks for reading all these words! As a thank you, here are some more words to read: thanks to everyone who sent in a video this week and thanks in advance to those of you who help me with my request. If you'd like to submit a video that just may appear on this very article, you can submit the hell out of that shit right here.
See you jerks next time!
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!