Website: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/8257/

Violations:

1. Page takes over three hours to load thanks to a shitload of large, unnecessary graphics that are supposed to show off the clan leader's "l33t Photoshop skillz".
5. Clan members have trouble distinguishing between fantasy and reality.
7. Page layout / color scheme burns your retinas and causes brain damage.
8. Website looks as if it were written by Jeff K.

Samples From Website:

"Quak 2 Clan"

"Personal Quote: 'I'm Ready to Kill and Suck your Blood!!' "

"The fog is in the air, fire everywhere, the sky turns to black, emptyness in your heart. You quietly walk without the knowlodge of the terrible fate that awaits you."


Description:Damn, Jeff K. and Clan 40 Ounsce, eat your hearts out! Read this and fear The DeathWing Clan!

The fog is in the air, fire everywhere, the sky turns to black, emptyness in your heart. You quietly walk without the knowlodge of the terrible fate that awaits you. You hear a step, you turn arround, and then..... The only thing you can see are non-existent visions. Visions of Heaven, visions of Hell, now you can smell the terrible smell of death. Then you ralize what has just happened, death has reached you. Then, you see your killer, his blury face in the fog doesn't matter, 'cause you know that a Death Wing Trooper has just found you...

Scarier than Tales From The Crypt, isn't it?

Offhand, I would answer with "no", but then I checked out the personal quotes (as well as the pictures the kids made in their art class) on the Deathwings' pages and I started to get a little frightened.

Nickname: Dragon

Personal Quote: "I'll Destroy!"

Nickname: Gargoyle

Personal Quote: "I'm Ready to Kill and Suck your Blood!!"

Oh no! They're going to destroy me AND suck my blood! I hope they decide to suck my blood first, because they're not going to get too much if I've already been destroyed. If that didn't scare you enough, there's also some spooky pictures of the clan members! Check this out:

Oh God no, run! It's the Deathwing clan! And they've got CRAYOLAS! RUN!

Link for you to join?: Yes

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

More Clan Hell

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.