EXT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Obie Wan’s Jedi Starship touches down in front of Doku’s Fortress. Anakin leaps
out, clearly enraged. DARTH CARNAGE walks from the shadows to greet him.
The young prodigy has arrived. Doku will be pleased
To see you, Vader.
Save your flattery for someone that it works on, Darth
Carnage. Since I am the new Darth, you are nothing more
than a third wheel.
We shall see, Jedi. You have not yet proved yourself.
Show me to Dooku.
As you wish.
INT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT
Anakin enters. He hesitates, then bows to DOOKU. DOOKU rises from his black throne
and walks slowly toward Anakin.
Darth Vader. I can already sense that Palpatine was
wise to recruit you. I can feel your Force Power.
Although many years have passed, Dooku, I have not
forgotten what you did to me. Now you are old and
feeble and tired.
Why do you speak this way, apprentice? Surely you can
see that taking your arm was a necessary part of
feeding your hatred.
And now I will take advantage of this hatred, to revenge
myself upon you.
(Anakin draws his lightsaber)
I guess that’s fair enough, young Vader.
Anakin whirls and twirls with his lightsaber. Dooku blocks his blows, but he is
obviously outmatched. Anakin chops off his arm. Dooku is shocked!
I didn’t think you’d really do it, Vader. You are
truly a fool, Vader. Darth Carnage shall tear you to
pieces for this!
I would not count on that.
Darth Carnage steps out from the shadows. Has he been there the whole time!?
I serve a new master now.
We are going to kill him now, right?
I thought that we were going to.
Darth Carnage slowly extends the blade of his Dark-Saber. Anakin and Darth Carnage
descend upon him with fury. We see Dooku makes a terrified and pleading face in a
close-up and then the scene ends.
INT – YODA’S MEDITATION ROOM – NIGHT
YODA hovers with a troubled look on his face. His eyes are closed really tight with
the strain of thinking and sensing things. The PINK JEDI WITH THE TALL HEAD sits
beside him, concentrating similarly. Yoda opens his eyes.
I sense that a new Darth has risen he has.
What can we do? Is there hope?
Shhh. There may yet be hope there may be. Prepare
the Yoda Pool we must.
This development is troubling for the Jedi.
EXT – ANAKIN’S ESTATE – DAY
The BLACK GUY touches down in a large Jedi Spaceship on Anakin’s lawn. OBIE WAN
runs toward the ship, and Artoo and Threepio amble along behind him.
Thank you for picking me up. I fear that I don’t
know where Anakin might be.
The Jedi spotted him on Coruscant recently, but
it is clear that he was there only for a brief time.
Do we know who he visited or what he did?
He did not go and see Yoda, which I think was
intentional. Yoda was hurt by this, as you might
I see. Where did he go then?
He may have gone to see Palpatine, the new Emperor
of the Republic.
Palpatine is a good man and a wise ruler; perhaps
he talked some sense into him. Come on, let’s get
out of here, we will talk on the ship.
They get into the ship, along with Artoo and Threepio, and leave into space.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.